it is mundane
wake up, busy day
start the coffee
"what's the weather"
game night for Jesse, 2 hours away
bag is packed, gear cleaned,
class trip tomorrow
that bag is packed too.
3 days my boy will be gone
I wrestle with bad-mommy-itis,,,should I be going?
backpacks are ready by the door
clothes laid out
he will wear his football jersey to school
she will wear a summer shirt with a heavy sweater
fall is coming to Maine
pause in the kitchen for a hug
this man smells so good
he is so strong
open Ciarra's door
she is sound asleep
baby blanket too short
clutched to her chin
little feet peeking out into the cold
the cat is snuggled next to her
paws up, smiling
down the hall to his room
he was up late, studying, reading
his life is on overdrive these days
he wakes slowly, turns and smiles
and rolls out of bed to start his day
back down the hall
I lie down beside my girl,
she is warm despite the cool air,
the cat opens one eye, the smile fades
do we HAVE to get up, Mom?
seems to be her thought
I wrap my arms around this little big girl
tickle her a little, pull her close
she opens sleepy eyes and smiles at me,
Brushfield spots catching the sunlight
she is a beautiful little person
she trusts me so
mornings should be gentle
time for love, time for some cuddling
she is fully awake now
the dogs have joined us on her bed
the puppy is licking her feet
another cat comes in to check out the happenings
it is morning.
I put out bowls of cereal,
Jesse has to be at school early for checkin
we scramble, he showers
Jim hands me money for Jesse's trip
and some extra for me too...he knows me well
Ciarra eats in her room
Curious George is the background music
the cat still snuggled on her pillow, smiling again
they get dressed, shoes on...gym today
where's my library books, Mom
Mom, did you wash my girdle for football?
Honey, do you think this old cellphone would still work?
(No, it is from the 80s, and...well...no)
Coffee in hand, he leans against the counter and smiles
the commotion around us means our lives are full
Ciarra grabs her backpack and her sweater and heads out to wait for the bus
all smiles, she turns to me
"I found a dead frog yesterday"
I dont hear the rest of the story, but the excitement in her eyes
tells me its a good one
I walk to the window to watch her,
she is so small her voice a plume of smoke in the air
"Can I have Daddys binoculars?"
"I cant see the bus"
"its coming, baby."
"Bye Mom, I love you..."
one last I love you and she is gone
big girl, 4th grade, one kid down
Jesse walks in
football bag-helmet, pads, pants, jersey, socks, cleats...it is heavy
strung across his back
the bus leaves at 3
backpack on the other side..big French test today
laptop case in hand
Jim smiles at him, takes the backpack
grabs the Maine Studies duffel bag
3 days of clothes, extra shoes, sleeping bag, pillow, flashlight
3 days in the wilderness, camping, learning
this boy has such clarity about him
he will be somebody
my boys walk out the door, stop for a kiss
and some I love you's.
Into Dads truck
he forgot his coffee
I put on Jims big old work shoes and clod out the door
to anyone else, I would be scary looking
in my nightie and my wild hair, too-big shoes
to them I am welcome, they smile at my getup
another round of goodbyes.
Jim backs down the driveway, coffee in one hand
I see him turn to Jesse
and then they both laugh
and that is the sound I hear as they drive away
and I am alone in the house with the dogs and the cats and the smell of coffee
and breakfast to clean up
and a 19 yr old still sleeping
we will both work today
babysitter, schools out
drive 2 hrs each way to see his game
Daddy cant go he has to work too late
Ciarra cant be out that late
so just me and Kristin will go
mundane is beautiful sometimes.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
it is mundane