looking in ~ Ciarra's life

I have had the opportunity several times this past week to see Ciarra more from the outside looking in. It has been a distinct pleasure.

Last night, I had to run her brother to the Docs, and left everyone eating supper. she was at her table in the living room. when I got home, she said the dog had eaten her supper and would I mind taking her to McDonalds? Now, Ciarra is a homebody. she likes to be here and rarely can be talked into going out. shes a tad (ok, a lot) spoiled in that she doesnt really often have wants that are unfullfilled, so it is hard to bribe her. She likes to be home, she likes to sit in her Library room and read, watch tv, color, etc. But she wanted McDonalds, and off we went. (I was thrilled she wanted to go!) I sat down, gave her the money, and let her order her meal. She did so, ver politely and carefully, cautiously enunciating every word. The lady at the counter was surely there just for us last night, I couldnt have asked for a kinder more tolerant person. She very politely took Ciarra's order and asked her questions, what grade, how old, etc. They had a very nice, normal conversation. another lady came over to give her her nuggets, and Ciarra engaged her as well. When she turned to walk to the table, I heard them say "OMG, isnt she the most adorable, polite kid EVER?" As a Mom, there are way worse things you can hear. I was proud of her, and every time something like this goes so smoothly, it gives me more faith in the future and her place in it. She will be ok, I think. As we were leaving, the lady asked me if she could give C a hot fudge sunday, and told me she thought Ciarra was beautiful and sweet. We enjoyed our meal together, talking and laughing, and I realized HOW big she is getting. I treasure these moments.



Then today I was at her school, and it was lunchtime, so I detoured to go say hi. I scoured the lunchroom, saw the aides that work in the life skills room, some of the kids, no Ciarra. she wasnt in the table I always see her at either. Then there she was, across the room, animatedly telling some story with 5-6 little girls listeningly intently, who all laughed when she was done talking. It was so normal it took my breath away. Little girls being little girls, but allowing her...special needs and all....to not only be a part of their group, but a treasured part of their group. The friendships she has are so important to her, and so fullfilling to see. They saw me coming and were all smiles. One stood to give me a hug, I noticed how tall she was and she must have read my mind, she said "Im wearinf high heels!" I love that these precious little people have been in my life for so long and that they truly and genuinely like my daughter. The one big fear I have always had was that she would not have friends. Some days, I think she has more friends than I ever will. I love that little circle of preteen heads, gathered close, whispering and giggling. I love that she is a part of it, I love that it is happening naturally, and that it is genuine. Thank God for the innocense of children, they give me hope.