life is busy these days

summer is here in full swing! Ciarra had her baseball tournament today...they got 4th place. You wouldnt know it by the kids though. I love this age. It has been a wonderful season for her, she has made huge gains, learned the rules a lot more, and got some tremendous hits too. Once again, I am thinking this might just be the last year for her, but time will tell.

After the game we had a swimming party and BBQ at a friends house. It was a blast. It is HOT here today, 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. Just beautiful, but sunburn weather for sure.

Jim is gone to Mooselookmeguntic fishing, up in the western mountains. He says it is overcast and coolish there today. I miss him but I agreed to let him go fishing this weekend with some friends. Sometimes I hate that he wants to be outside on the go so much. I drove by some families having BBQs together, lawn chairs and volleyball, and I resent it that he isnt that kind of guy. Sure, we have our times, but for the most part he is off doing his thing. Sometimes I am really mad about that, sometimes just resigned to it, other times really sad. It is his loss. He is such a good guy but still hasnt figured out just how fast these kids grow up. While he is off doing his fun stuff, we are here, together, making memories. It is lonely sometimes. I cant believe Im blogging about it. The truth, I guess. I am grateful for my kids and my home and friends and activities to keep us occuppied. But I wish I had someone to spend my days with, too. Im jealous of those of you with men in your lives who are always there, doing the family thing. Jim is a great guy, someday he is going to look back on this time and wish he had been here. Oh well...life goes on.

When we got home, the phone rang. It was Ciarras friend taylor calling. I put it on speakerphone, cause I like to be able to see whats being plotted ;) and it helps me to know what they are planning and help Ciarra if she gets stuck talking and cant be understood speech wise. anyway...Taylor had come over yesterday and wanted to call and say she had had a lot of fun. She wanted to come back today but its late and been a long day already. We made plans for Monday. It is so nice to see these friendships blossoming. Every since we have been limiting time spent with her best friend (and she still IS her bf, it is just much more limited) Ciarra has been really having a lot of friends over and doing so much more. The friend is a tiny bit (ok, a lot) controlling, so we hadnt been able to do much of that before, it was always her Ciarra wanted here. Now, it is as though her options have opened up, and also many of the kids have really been rubbed the wrong way by the friend, but now feel much more welcome. So, she is a busy girl. What an amazing thing it is to see these friendships bloom. School ends Monday, and then the summer starts. I hope they will stay in touch, and that some will be in her class next year too.

Ok, enough rambling and whining...I need a nap!